The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

Angie, John, and Daniel left for Mobile on Tuesday, which was the day Angie's father passed away. Meredith and I needed to get situated with school and work, respectfully, before we could leave. In fact, Meredith had been taking a physics class this summer at ULM and the final was on Thursday morning. On our drive down on Thursday afternoon, I realized that Meredith is very similar to me in many aspects. She has this energy that she can't contain; and, at times, it just burst out!

I filmed her during one of these episodes. The film will transition as we travel down the highway. The first section shows a typical song/dance. She performed for about 30 minutes or longer. One interesting thing of note...she never listens to an entire song. After a couple of minutes of high-energy singing/dancing, she grabs the iPod and changes to another song. (It drives me crazy because I put on an album and listen from beginning to end. I have to have closure!) The second section shows how she was watching the dvd player. Please check out who's in her lap...watching with her. Yes, that's a stuffed animal and he's higher up the totem pole than me. The last section shows her in the only quiet state...asleep. If you like this, check back later in the week. I have a couple more up my sleeve. So, am I right? Does the apple fall far from the tree?

In Loving Memory of T. L. "Buddy" Ratcliff

Angie's father, Buddy Ratcliff, passed away today at his home in Mobile, Alabama. Mr. Ratcliff was born on June 9, 1928 and just celebrated his 80th birthday a few weeks ago. The news has been a great shock to Angie and our family. He had various health problems, but no one expected this today. I will dedicate another blog to his memory sometime later after I've had time to gather my thoughts. Mr. Ratcliff leaves his wife of 61 years, Pearl, and four children, Linda, Recie, T.L., and Angie. Please keep Angie, her mother, and the rest of the family in your prayers as they grieve his passing.

Behind the Curtain at Miss LA Pageant

Thanks to Gayle Frick, Daniel and I were allowed to perform during the 2008 Miss Louisiana Pageant. This was an extremely fun experience; and one that we won't soon forget.

We went to the Civic Center on Wednesday at 4:00 P.M. to learn our blocking. We weren't sure what to expect because we've never done anything like this before. Daniel was in a couple of skits with the Fleur de Lis Princesses dancing to songs from "The Wizard of Oz." I have a great deal of respect for the choreographer, Kelly Justice. She masterfully taught about 54 little girls some blocking and some dance numbers. That's a chore in and of itself. But then the thought occurred to me...they're performing this routine...LIVE...the very next night!!! A daunting task to say the least! Daniel was joined by two other Youngtroupe veterans, namely, Jacob Branson and Beaux Coleman. Daniel was the Tin Man, Jacob was the Cowardly Lion, and Beaux was the Scarecrow.

For some reason, they decided to postpone my blocking until later that night. It just so happened that I got to "physically introduce" the ladies as they entered in their evening wear. First, though, I had to run out on stage as the girls sang about the "Wonderful Wizard." Now, this was a hoot! Imagine...a dozen or more girls...in long formal dresses...doing a dance routine...and me running through the middle of them! During the rehearsal on Wednesday night, it was very easy. The girls were dressed in casual clothes, everyone was relaxed, and I had enough room to drive a car on stage. Thursday night in front of a live audience was a different story! When I first entered, I noted that the girls were farther downstage than we had rehearsed. No problem, I thought. But when I turned to rush upstage, I didn't immediately see a hole to fit through. Plus, all the girls were wearing long dresses...suitable for tripping goofy wizards like me. I darted and dodged and made it through....whew! I'd love to tell you it was an isolated incident. But on Friday night, the girls were even farther downstage. Luckily for me, I've learned how to tap dance with only about 2.5 feet of floor space. So, no probleemo. Again I had to dart and dodge to make it through. I have to admit that I worried that I'd meet my ultimate demise on that stage, though. No, I didn't think God would call me home via heart attack. What I feared was the thought of knocking one of the girls down and an angry mob lynching me right up there on stage. Fortunately, no one stumbled and all went as planned. Trying to learn blocking for a live show in 30 to 45 minutes is called "flying by the seat of your pants." But, in the end, it all worked.

The little video I offer is Daniel dancing on stage during the broadcast on Saturday night. I wonder if someday he'll look back and think...."I was dancing on stage next to three Miss Louisiana winners." I know it amazes me! Glinda, the good witch, was played by Miss Louisiana 1995, Karmyn Tyler. The singing Dorothy was played by Melissa Clark, Miss Louisiana 2003, and the dancing Dorothy was played by Miss Louisiana 2007, Amanda Joseph.

What a great experience!

The Bottle Opener

During high school, I played in a band named Tyr. We sounded great when we jammed, but we never had a lead singer. Therefore, our opportunities to play for audiences were extremely limited. We played standard rock and roll fare. In fact, I'm confident that many of the vintage songs that are offered on Rock Band and Guitar Hero were covered by Tyr at one time or another.

My buddy, Paul, played lead guitar and I played rhythm. Paul was a better player than I was. In fact, he was the first guy to show me a barre chord. This one simple idea opened up guitar playing for me. A barre chord is a method of using one or more fingers to press down multiple strings across the fingerboard. It allows the guitarist the ability to easily move from one chord to another without changing your basic finger shape. You simply move the "shape" up or down the neck of the guitar to make your chord.

At any rate, before we left high school, Paul bought a Fender Stratocaster. He loved blues music and a ton of blues artists play Strats. Paul was really concerned about sound quality. He emphasized playing the right chord, in the right shape...just like the albums we loved. I, on the other hand, was into the "look." I wanted to look cool. I wanted a cool-looking guitar. Although I liked blues music, back in high school, I was more partial to the bands that put on big shows...laser lights, explosions, pyrotechnics, etc.

I guess that's why I chose the Ice Man. I hate to admit it, but I loved Kiss during high school. Paul Stanley, the rhythm guitarist, played an Ibanez Ice Man. His had two humbucker pickups and it was really flashy with mirrors and black paint. I thought it looked cool. One day, Zeagler Music got an Ice Man. It was the IC-210 model. Now, this wasn't like Paul Stanley's model at all, except for the basic shape. But I fell in love...or maybe it was lust.

I worked out a deal with the salesman to buy the Ice Man. I traded my Aria Les Paul copy in and paid several hundred dollars. (This was a mistake...and, trust me, I've learned my lesson.) But I was the proud owner of one cool-looking guitar.


This guitar is built for rock and roll. The neck has a brass nut, giving the guitar more sustain. Sustain allows you to hold a note for a long time. Usually, lead guitarists will hit a note and just let it ring as long as they can. Watch "This Is Spinal Tap" and listen to Nigel's explanation. It has a long fretboard that allows the player to go all the way up the neck with ease. Also, it has over-sized frets on the fingerboard...NICE! Plus, this model came with what was affectionately called, "The Mother of All Humbuckers." A pickup on an electric guitar converts the vibration of the strings to an electric signal. Originally, the first pickups were single coil in nature. (Check out a Fender Telecaster or Stratocaster - both usually have single coil pickups installed, even in the present-day models.) Unfortunately, if not shielded properly inside the guitar, the single coil pickups can produce a humming noise that can be heard through the amplifier. In the late 50's, a Gibson employee took two single coils, placed them side-by-side, and reversed the polarity. He noted that it canceled the humming noise. It "bucked the hum" and, so, the humbucker was born.


During the 70's, Ibanez played around with putting three single coils next to each other and created this monster that was placed in the IC-210 models. It was known on the streets as "the mother of all humbuckers." It had four positions and could sound like a single coil or a humbucker. It was very versatile. Steve Miller supposedly played this model on the hit song, "Fly Like An Eagle."

When I bought it, I was attending La Tech. However, for a year, I lived at the fraternity house and you can only imagine what kind of treatment it received there. Anytime someone bought some beer or we tapped a keg, ole Catfish would have to get his guitar out and start playing. I'll bet I played Johnny B. Good a thousand times back then. During one of these parties, she received her nickname..."The Bottle Opener." One of my drunken buddies yelled out that the guitar looked like an over-sized beer opener. He was right and she's held the name ever since.

Unfortunately, the guitar shows the wear of all the partying now. She's dinged all over. But the worse thing that ever happened to her happened years removed from my college days. When we moved to our house in Monroe in 1996, I placed the guitar in the attic. I don't know what I was thinking. We moved during August and I'm sure I was hot and tired. Evidently, I wasn't thinking right. The heat has caused the wiring in the mother of all humbuckers to deteriorate and it melted the pickup cover that surrounded it. She still plays okay, but the pickup is crippled and can't give the tones that she originally had.

A few years ago, I took it to a guitar tech and asked him to clean it up for me. He did a good job, but there was only so much he could do. I thought about installing a new humbucker. However, I found out that they only made about 140 of these models and I was advised to leave it alone. So I've left her with original parts. Maybe someday it will become a collector's item. I doubt it, but my kids will have a cool guitar to fight over after I'm dead and gone.

If I had it to do over again, I'd keep the Les Paul copy and never make the trade for this guitar. But, having learned from my previous mistake, I'm not giving this baby up anytime soon. She's doesn't play much rock and roll anymore, but she can still crank it up loud when needed.

My Little Valentine

In February 2005, I was surfing the internet one morning and noticed a new eBay vendor had 4 G&L Tributes up for sale. All four guitars were considered "New - Old Stock." Usually that's an indication that a guitar has never left the store, but it's typically over a year old. I also noted that the bidding was going to end THAT morning, and the opening bid price was only $255. (In 2005, these guitars retailed between $450 to $500.) Furthermore, only three of the guitars had bids. So, I placed a bid on the last one available, a metallic blue model. A couple of hours later, all four opening bids of $255 won and I was one of them!

Now, let me explain something vitally important to this story. Angie's birthday is February 13th and February 14th is Valentine's Day. The day I won the guitar was February 10th; and, at that time, I had not purchased anything for Angie's birthday, not to mention Valentine's Day. I called Angie at work and told her not to worry about getting me anything for Valentine's Day. I explained that I had won something on eBay. Immediately, and condescendingly I might add, she asked, "Did you bid on another guitar?" I bit my lip and said "Yes." Angie knows I have a problem. Now you know it too. It's called GAS....Guitar Acquisition Syndrome. I have to give credit to Scott Bonner for the diagnosis. He's the first one to explain to me what I had.

I present the beauty that I won today. Here's a little history about G&L Guitars. Leo Fender started making Fender electric guitars between the 40's and 50's. His first mass-produced guitar was the Broadcaster, which was later renamed Telecaster. Around 1954, Fender produced the first Stratocaster. Both the Telecaster (Tele) and Stratocaster (Strat) are still extremely popular today. However, in 1965, Leo Fender sold his company to CBS. Yes, that's right, the television network. Afterwards, Leo worked for Music Man, a rival company, during the 70's. In the late 70's, he and George Fullerton, who had worked with him at Fender, founded G&L Musical Instruments. Guess what kind of guitars they built? Tele's and Strat's. However, because they were a new company, G&L made slight changes to the guitars and used different names. The Tele version was called an ASAT, which is a reference to an Air Force term, "anti-satellite." The Strat version is called a Legacy. In 1991, Leo Fender passed away but G&L still produces some of the best electric guitars out there.

In 2003, G&L reached an agreement with a Korean guitar manufacturer to produce copies of their original instruments. These imported guitars were named G&L Tributes. Although they were manufactured in Korea, American-made pickups were used. So, they are very good quality guitars for a good price.

My Legacy features three single-coil pickups with a 5-position blade switch. This is identical to most Strats. The difference, though, is how they wired the pickups. The neck pickup, which is the fifth position on the blade switch, has a "fat" sound. What that means is the sound is very full and similar to a humbucker pickup. It also has a Dual-Fulcrum Vibrato, which allows the guitarist to change the length of the strings, ever so slightly, to produce a tremolo effect. One of my favorite things about this guitar is the neck. Usually on imports, they cut corners on things you don't see. But check out the back of this guitar's neck. That's one pretty piece of wood!

Well, to close the story, I did buy Angie a nice birthday gift and Valentine's Day present. But I received the best gift...my little Valentine.

Weeeeee're Off To See The Wizard....

Daniel and I were asked to perform in the Miss Louisiana Pageant. We thought about it for a nano-second and said "YES!" The pageant's theme this year is a combination of the "Wizard of Oz" and "Wicked." Daniel is playing the Tin Man and I'm the Wizard. The neat thing about it is we're performing with some other Strauss stage veterans. Beaux Coleman is the Scarecrow, Jacob Branson is the Cowardly Lion, Peyton Frick and Sam Hewins are playing members of the Lollipop Guild, and Nathan Frick is the Mayor of Munchkinland. By the way, a special thanks to Gayle Frick for getting us the gig. I didn't know this, but Gayle's a former Miss Louisiana contestant.



I've included some photos to whet your appetite. I encourage you to get tickets to the show...it's really good. Or if you can't get tickets, watch the finale on TV Saturday night. Until then, we're off to see the Wizard!

I Can Walk and Chew Gum, But...

For Father's Day, my family gave me a new pair of running shoes. I've been running/walking and eating better for about two weeks. I've actually lost a little weight. Yippeee! I've been going for a short walk to warm up and then start running. I'll run a few blocks and then walk, run a few blocks, then walk. Hopefully, before long, I'll be able to run the whole 2.7-mile trek that I follow. Usually, I do this at night. It's typically cooler and the traffic is not as bad. Unfortunately, some blocks are not well lighted.



I can walk and chew gum at the same time. But I learned last night that I can't walk and change songs on the iPod at the same time...at least, not in the dark. You see, in 2000, I severely sprained my left ankle while we were at the beach. The doctor told me that I tore the thing up. He also informed me that the ankle may be more prone to roll when I least expected it. Yesterday morning, I was getting something out of my car and stepped half on the driveway and half in the yard. The ankle popped and I almost ate some grass. Fortunately, I was able to recover before I completely fell flat. Later last night, I decided to go for my run. I walked down my street and then walked one more block before I made the fateful decision to change the playlist on my iPod. When I started thumbing through the songs, I accidentally stepped half on the pavement and half in the grass...with the same left foot. Before you can say "wipe-out," I was on my hands and knees. Now get a clear picture in your mind. Here's a 48 year old guy...on his hands and knees...on the street...at 9:00 at night. When I figured out what happened, I immediately started listening to see how many people were laughing. Luckily, it was so dark and late, that no one was out. I gathered myself together and started walking again. My right shin was burning, my right-hand pinkie was throbbing, and my left palm was scuffed up. But I kept walking. Eventually, I started running and finished the course.

I took some pictures when I arrived home. Then Daniel cleaned the scratches and applied some hydrogen peroxide.


Today, the sore on my right leg hurts even worse. It was scratched up pretty bad. And my left ankle is sore. I'll tell you...getting old is not for cowards.

Fortunately, I rehearsed as the Wizard of Oz in the Miss Louisiana Pageant tonight. Surrounded by a bunch of pretty girls, a guy can forget about bruised legs and sore ankles. Come see us Thursday, Friday, and/or Saturday. It's supposed to be televised this weekend. Be sure and look for the wizard hobbling around on stage...that'll be me. =D

How Long Do You Sleep?

I noticed Daniel was sleeping late this morning. I've told y'all that he's taller than me; but he keeps growing! That's a standard twin bed he's in. When I first saw him, he had both feet sticking through the foot of the bed. Before I could snap the photo, he moved one of them.


Notice, he's almost at the head of the bed!


Yet one foot is hanging off of the end. I guess you could say he sleeps for a "long" time.

Plug Me In and Let Me Play

I started this guitar theme on my photoblog several days ago; and I've decided to offer them on my blogspot too. To give you an idea what I'm doing, I'm just listing my guitars and explaining what they mean or have meant to me. I realize this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, but it will be an off-the-beaten-path diversion for the days you're surfing the 'net.

High School - circa 1977

The first one I show you is my initial electric guitar. It was an Aria Les Paul copy. I don't know the actual model number because I traded this one in for a new guitar in 1978. Yes, I regret the decision. The guitars made in Japan back then were fairly good instruments. I bought the guitar for about $150 at Hunt and Whitaker Pawn Shop, which was located in downtown Monroe. The action (space between the strings and the fret board) was almost non-existent. Therefore, it was very easy to play...even for an amateur like me. FYI, if you have ever wanted to learn to play guitar, I advise you to start on an electric guitar because of the lower action. Unfortunately, most parents buy their kids a cheap acoustic guitar to start. Usually, the action is higher on these guitars and the kid winds up having sore fingers. As the pain increases, the fun diminishes. Then the guitar winds up selling in a garage sale for next to nothing and the cycle begins again. As a contrast, you can buy an electric guitar and small amplifier for under $200 now. Trust me, you're fingers will thank me!

Air Mark

Now, back to the guitar. Les Paul guitars are made by Gibson, one of the largest and most respected guitar manufacturers in the world. The guitars were named after a gentleman named Les Paul. I believe he is still alive and he's got to be in his 90's. The guitar was introduced in the 50's and still remains one of the most popular electric guitars today. Growing up in the 70's, most of my rock idols played Les Pauls, e.g., Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin. Guitar manufacturers like Aria purchased a license from Gibson to produce "copies" of the guitar. Usually, they were good guitars but were priced for the working man or teenagers like me.

a band named "Tyr" - I'm 2nd from left

I played this guitar for about 3 years before I made the fateful decision to trade it in. This was one of the sweetest instruments I've ever played. Great action and two humbucking pickups. (I'll explain that in another blog.) I miss this little honey!

Lisa

My second acoustic guitar is a Lys. I've been told two different ways to pronounce the name. One is "lee" and the other is "leece." I just call her Lisa and that's that!

The company either went out of business or was bought out in the 80's. Originally, my dad bought this guitar for himself. However, over several months, he realized that I was the one playing it, so he gave it to me.

Lys made hand-made guitars in Canada and tried to compete with the Martin Guitar Company. Unfortunately, they couldn't crack the market as expected and things with downhill quickly. My friend, Mr. Hilton Lytle, told me that he and a friend bought about 80 of these guitars from a local wholesale company back in the late 70's. They were able to buy them at an extremely discounted price. Then, they sold the guitars for less than retail but still made a profit. He can't remember seeing one like Lisa, though.

You see, Lisa is special. She not only has a spruce top, like most acoustic guitars. But she also has spruce back and sides. According to Hil, this is rare. The reason most acoustic guitars use spruce on the top is because it's such a good tone wood. Having spruce on the back and sides makes this guitar have exceptional sound quality. Plus, this is a hand-made guitar. Most guitars are manufactured with robotic machines and routers. The less time that a human hand touches it, the less expensive the guitar tends to be. Since I don't know the whole story of what happened to Lys Guitars, I assume that they couldn't compete with the already widely-accepted and well-established Martin Guitars. Coupled with the fact that they were peddling a hand-made guitar, which is typical more expensive, Lys was walking a tightrope...and, I guess somebody blinked.

Several years ago, I learned that a Canadian company named Godin may have purchased the plant that made the Lys guitar. Godin has seven companies under its corporate unbrella, e.g., Seagull, Norman, and Lapatrie. Locally, I've seen and played the Seagull guitar. In fact, over the years, I've played several Seagull guitars. While I'm playing, I can close my eyes and hardly tell the difference between Lisa and a Seagull.

I wish you could have seen Lisa when she was new. The spruce was almost white! Over the years, the wood has aged and she now has this amber-yellow shade. I installed a thinline pickup under the saddle and I've played her at several church functions. She's a keeper!

Connie

A special thing happened to me one day when I was in junior high school. I went down to my friends' house, Tim and Brock Williams. We had been friends since my family moved into the neighborhood when I was five.

Tim and Brock shared a bedroom. They had cool posters on the walls and rock music was always playing on their record player. They both listened to "heavy metal" rock. In fact, my introduction to Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, etc. took place in that bedroom.

On one momentous day, I went to visit them and Brock had a guitar. He was playing "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath; and I was mesmerized! Shortly thereafter, I asked my dad if I could get a guitar. My dad was close friends with Jack Dew, who owned Dew Music. At that time, Dew Music occupied the building where Zeagler Music is located today. Long story short, my dad brought home an acoustic guitar and my journey began.

My first guitar was manufactured by Conn. If you were ever in band during high school, you've been around Conn instruments. They're better known for their saxophones, horns, etc. For some reason, they decided to enter the guitar business. My guitar was made in Japan and I assume it was produced by a guitar builder that was licensed to make these guitars under the name of Conn. By the way, that happens all the time.

I've always had a special place in my heart for this guitar. I affectionately named her Connie. (How do I come up with these creative names?!?) I probably have written more songs on this guitar than any other one that I own. I learned my first song on her. Brock taught me how to play a rock power chord, namely the root and the fifth for you music geeks. The song..."Not Fragile" by Bachman Turner Overdrive. I played that song for a solid week, every day after school. I literally played the song until my fingers bled. I'll never forget hearing my dad say after day three, "Pard, please learn another song!" I did...the cool rock riff from "Smoke on the Water." I played that for a solid week. Needless to say, I think my dad initially regretted his decision to buy me the guitar. At least, at first he did. I got better and he loved hearing me play.

An interesting thing happened to Connie several years ago. One of John's friends came over to the house and asked me if he could borrow a guitar. He wanted to learn how to play. I really didn't want to let any of them go. But as a Christian, I felt it was my duty. So I allowed "Jim" to take Connie. (My other guitars have "pickups" or microphones built in, and I needed them for playing at church.) I explained that the guitar meant a great deal to me and he should handle her with care. He agreed.

Months turned into years. Every time I'd see "Jim," I'd ask if he was still playing the guitar; and he would immediately change the subject. I wound up regretting ever letting the guitar out of my sight. Then one day, John called and said he had a present for me. When I arrived home, John was holding Connie. "Jim" had moved and left the guitar, unattended, inside the BCM on ULM's campus. She was dirty and had a huge crack on the bridge. The crack caused the strings to buzz every time you strummed her. I was pleased to have her back, but upset that "Jim" had not cared for her.

I took her to Hilton Lytle's house last summer and showed him the crack. He looked at it and said he knew of a solution. I figured the cost would be more than the guitar. However, Hil took the strings off, went to his shop, and asked me to hold the guitar while he started his belt sander. Now get this picture, here's an eighty-three year old man with a high-powered sander about to unleash it on my beloved Connie. I held my breath! Before he put the sander down, he warned me that it would probably change the color of the bridge; but not to fret, because we could repaint it. I nodded and he gently placed the sander against the bridge. Dust started flying everywhere...toxic dust! I found it hard to breathe. A few minutes later, he lifted the sander and, as the dust settled, this beautiful rosewood bridge emerged. Turns out that the crack was only skin-deep. The reason I was choking is because rosewood dust particles can irritate the lungs. Neither he nor I expected the bridge to be made of rosewood. Usually, on inexpensive guitars, they use a cheaper wood...especially since they paint over it. Well, the Japanese company that produced this guitar used rosewood for the bridge and painted it black. What a crime!!! Hil deduced that they were using whatever was available in the shop and were building it to Conn's specifications, which included a black bridge. We polished it, restrung it, and Hil made a few other adjustments. When I picked up Connie and started playing her, this wonderful tone came out of her. Hil and I both marveled at the rosewood bridge. It's so beautiful...it's like we found a diamond in the rough! Hil's charge for the work....$0.00!

So like most things in life, when something bad happens, God can make it good. I changed my mind and learned that it was a blessing that I had enough faith to let "Jim" borrow the guitar. It was a blessing that I had enough faith to let Hil hold a high speed sander to Connie. God is always teaching us and God is good!

I'm Trying It

This week marked the beginning of another pard1959 blog. Due to Kimber's persistence, I've decided to try Photoblog for a while and see if I like the format any better. So, three days ago, I kicked off http://www.photoblog.com/pard1959/.

At first glance, Photoblog appears to be more community related in contrast to Blogger. With Blogger, I have this feeling like I'm more stand-alone...like an island in a big sea with tons of other islands surrounding me. However, I don't ever have a sense of connection to the other blogs. I personally enjoy this independence. But there are times when I'd prefer to be connected to friends a little more. Well Photoblog appears to be somewhere in the middle. It's independent but you have friends that you allow to see your blog. Plus I like the ability to write captions under photos.

At any rate, we'll see. I'm giving it a try and see which one inspires me more. So, if you're looking for another surfing diversion, check out my new site. I've already started with a theme that may interest some folks. Similar to The Cutting Edge of Mediocre, I'm trying to offer informative and funny, random info.

Gotta Git a Fix

If you've seen me within the past two years, I probably was carrying my iPod. I will admit it here and now that I'm addicted to music. (I know, I know....I already did a blog about my other addiction, namely, laughter. But this is different.)

Music has always been a big part of my being. As a child, I remember going to sleep with an LP playing in the background. "LP," for you kids, is Long Playing vinyl record. Most of them were about twelve inches and played on a turntable. The record player, as we used to call them, had a needle that fit into a groove on the LP "album." (I have a riddle...I can't use it any more because the kids today don't know what I'm talking about. But here goes..."How many grooves are on one side of an album?" Most of the time, people will say things like, "200" ... "500" ... "1000!" Incorrect! The needle would fit into one (1) groove and follow it until it reached the end of the last song on that side of the album.) Records were very easily scratched; and, due to their size, were cumbersome to carry around. It's funny to me that some recording artists will try to emulate the sound of a vinyl record scratch on their song. I guess they're trying to make it sound vintage.


As a teenager, I had an 8-track tape player put into my car. There's no telling how many tapes I wore out riding around Monroe...looking for fun...looking for girls, mostly. Kids today don't know what an 8-tract tape even looks like. Usually, the 8-track tape would have two recorded sides. If the last song on side 1 was too long, the tape would pop, change directions, and start playing the rest of the song on the other side. For real music enthusiasts, this was like being stabbed in the heart during the middle of a song. Needless to say, this was a product that needed to die.


Later in college, I installed a cassette tape player in my car. At that time, I became a bit on a sound aficionado. My Firebird had one of the best and LOUDEST sound systems in Monroe. I can still remember the warm summer nights, riding around with my windows down, and the sounds of "Turn Me Lose" by Loverboy blasting out of the speakers. I wouldn't buy the recorded cassette, though. I still thought LPs were the way to go. So I bought vinyl records and recorded a cassette tape to carry in the car. Now, when some knucklehead drives up next to me at a traffic light....music thumping so loud I can hear every word...I have to remind myself...that was me 25 years ago. Not an easy pill to swallow.


After Angie and I got married, this new-fangled cd thing started showing up. I kept hearing that all of my vinyl LPs were going to be a thing of the past. I said phfffffttttt. Little did I know, huh? The digital age was upon us and nothing could stop it. I now have a go-zillion cds, sitting in boxes, stored in closets, and most of them are gathering dust.


The iPod is now my trusted music carrier. It goes where I go. I have approximately 32 GB of songs on the thing....no to mention videos, photos, audio books, and sermons. The only problem I have is I'm addicted to the darn thing. I HAVE TO have my fix daily. What worries me is that I'm always on the lookout for cheaper song downloads. (By the way, I don't endorse file sharing. On the large scale that most people use it today, it's tantamount to stealing. It's one thing if you borrow my cd and burn it. It's another thing if you burn it to your computer and let a hundred thousand other people have access to it. At any rate, let's save that argument for another blog.) I still buy cds from time to time. But 9 times out of 10, I download from either iTunes, eMusic, or now, from AmazonMP3. I can get my fix sitting at the computer! Yeah, baby, yeah! (Ironically, after I purchase the downloads, I usually burn them to a cd for safe keeping.)

If you don't have an mp3 player, I encourage you to get one. First, you will help the economy by buying one. And, second, if you like music like I do, you'll be able to get your fix anywhere you go. I know I'm a happy camper. Wouldn't you like to be one too?

Hard Head

I really shouldn't post this video. I certainly don't want to encourage anybody to do this. But some things are so funny...I've laughed every time I've watched it.

The only set-up this video needs is to let you know that this is real. There were no break-away bottles and no camera tricks. You might jump to the conclusion that I staged it because my carport's motion detector light goes out...almost on cue with the climax. However, what the camera couldn't pick up, I saw with my own two eyes under the faint light of the moon. Plus, you will be able to hear the reaction of everyone who witnessed it.

One more word of warning. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! This was performed by a seasoned fraternity member who knows better; and, truthfully, I know better too. But darn, it's funny!

This Yard Ain't Big Enough For Both of Us

On Thursday night, I went for an evening walk. Unbeknownst to me, Meredith decided to join me. But she followed a few minutes later and she brought Scooter along for companionship. Well, she and I ran into each other near the elementary school. I noticed Meredith first...then Scooter...then a big, brown lummox. As I've mentioned before, Meredith has this certain Elly May quality about her. Critters flock to her...she's like a critter-magnet.

The big, brown lummox was a chocolate lab. He had no collar, his coat was matted and dirty, and he looked hungry. Meredith kept scolding him and telling him to "go home." We had Scooter on a leash and every time a car went by, we'd pull Scooter out of harm's way. But the lab would walk right in the middle of the street. Meredith finally figured out that when we stopped walking, the dog would run up to us. So that's how we kept him away from the passing cars. Unfortunately, our walk turned into a time-consuming chore. When we arrived home, we offered him a bowl of food and some water. I wish you could have seen how fast he scarfed down the dog food.

Since some of you may not know, let me elaborate. We already have two Jack Russell terriers (Madeline and Scooter), one pound mutt (Nemo), and just recently, Angie found a stray dog (Pepper) down by the hospital where she works. (She looks like a cross between a German Shepherd and a blue healer. Though, I really believe she might be a Mississippi leg-hound. LOL) When we introduced the lab to our dogs, they all got along fine. That is, up until I started throwing a toy in the back yard on Saturday. Meredith officially started calling the lab "Duke." Well Duke's been trained by someone; because when he goes to fetch, he's on a mission! Normally, Madeline is the "alpha-dog" around here because she's the oldest. But she's never run into anything like Duke.

Roll the tape and watch the mayhem. And just in case some of you have fears that dogs were injured during this melee, let me reassure you that no dog was hurt...well, that is, except for Madeline's pride. Although the film doesn't show the end of the fight, Madeline released the toy about two seconds after Meredith quit filming. As soon as Madeline quit wrestling for the toy, the hullabaloo ended...abruptly. No harm, no foul. Also, pay special attention to Scooter as he tries to protect Maddy. When I yelled at him, "hey, that's enough," he stopped. (Later he did jump back in the middle of it, but I think it's because they were getting close to Meredith.)

We will continue to look in the paper for Duke's owner. Plus, we stop and look at every "Lost Dog" sign we see. Duke has had a bath and he's a good-natured sort. But, until further notice, I've got another mouth to feed...and, boy, this is one big mouth.

Chocoholic and YoDUH!

Here's a quick little look at my daughter. She's a confirmed chocoholic. Thank goodness that God broke the mold after he made her...I don't think I could deal with more than one.

Then there's John, trying to imitate Meredith doing an impression of Yoda. Voice modulation sounds fine...he just doesn't have a clue to how to structure the sentence.

Mock Yeah! Ing Yeah! Bird Yeah!

Last in my nature series this week are some baby mockingbirds. They were nestled into some bushes next to a patio swing. Every time we bumped the covered patio column, the birds would open their mouths wide and wait on mommy. Originally, I could see only one. Then I noticed another one. It wasn't until Meredith picked up the camera and started filming that we found out there were actually four babies in the nest. Be sure to pay special attention to Meredith's part of the video. If you close your eyes and listen, you'll think Elly May Clampett was there....you know how Elly May loves her critters!

The mother bird was not happy about us videotaping her family. In fact, before we started filming, she had made a few "fly-by's" at us. She didn't hit anyone, but she gave us fair warning that she meant business. Angie said she saw the mother bird come close to pecking Scooter, one of our dogs. I didn't see it and Scooter still hasn't mentioned anything to me. But, as I explained in a previous blog, Scooter is a Roadhouse-Dalton wannabe. He doesn't get angry until it's time to get angry.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Terrapin?

Before we went out to eat on Saturday night, we met a new neighbor. A terrapin was crawling across our humble estate in L.A. (That's lower Alabama for those of you from LA (that's Louisiana for those of you from L.A.)) How do I know this was a terrapin? Because my wife said so, that's why! And you thought I was stoopid!?!

I don't think any of us knew for sure what it was. But I did a little web-based researching today. Did it help? Heck no! I'm even more confused now. One site had a paragraph-long description that stated that turtles, terrapins, and tortoises are all part of the same order of Chelonia, which includes 244 different species. Oh good, that makes it easier to figure out. The neat thing about the web is there's always somebody that can speak your language. One dude wrote this: Turtle - water-dwelling creature without claws; Terrapin - water-dwelling creature with claws; Tortoise - land-dwelling creature. That's simple enough for me to understand. So based on this definition, this chelonia was a terrapin because it had claws and lived near water...not to mention my wife said so.

Whatever you want to call it, this was one cool cucumber. He (or she...I didn't look down there) was on a mission. Nothing was going to get in his way. He had traveled across an acre lot before I was able to get the camera. After all the kids held him up, he took off on a tear. When he finally hit the brush, I quit filming. I watched him for a few more minutes, though, as he crawled through a thicket. If the hare was napping back there, there's no doubt in my mind who won the race.

I Don't Think You're Ready For This Jelly

The Gulf water was fairly clear this past weekend. However, Angie had complained throughout the week that there were lots of jellyfish. She even saw a shark on one day! She filmed it on her camera; but, somehow that particular video was erased!?!?! (When it comes to video cameras, Angie's not the sharpest tool in the shed.)

Daniel will get in the water no matter what. Now don't get me wrong, he doesn't like being stung by jellyfish any more than the next guy. But his love for the water usually outweighs his fear of the sting...so he forges ahead. Saturday morning, he and I got into the water and didn't see a single jellyfish...that is, for about an hour. Then we saw two, three, four...they just started coming in from no where. The neat thing about jellyfish is they travel at a snail's pace and are easily captured. Scoop 'em up in a net and there you have it! Angie caught one, put it in a pail of water, and we sat and watched it swim around. Then somebody got the idea to pick it up.

You can pick up a jellyfish from above because the stinging tentacles are found below the body. We've never tried this before and I was in no hurry to do it. But, alas, I tried. Every time I attempted to pinch the body, the jellyfish would turn sideways and try to swim away. Then, Tyler came up with an ingenious idea...pour sand on the body and it forces the jellyfish to the bottom of the pail. Afterwards, the jellyfish is easily picked up.

So here's a video on jellyfish wrangling. All you need is a pail of water, a jellyfish, and a nine-year-old junior scientist.

A Crab Condo

At the beach, we encountered various wonders of nature. I've decided to break them up into little segments and show you a video each day...Matt Wilkins-style.

The first one shows a cluster of shells and barnacles. At first, when we found it, we didn't think anything was unusual because we've seen these things at the Gulf tons of times. However, upon closer inspection, we saw countless tiny crabs. It was like a crab condominium, so to speak. Bring the kids into the room and let them see nature up close and personal. (A science teacher would have a hay-day on an outing with us.)

Two things of note: 1) In the bright sunlight, my camera's viewing screen was about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. I couldn't see what I was filming. 2) I was wearing contacts, which allow me to see great at a distance. I can't see diddley-bupkiss up close, though; unless I put on reading glasses. So pardon the shaky cam and the poor framing.

Yoda and Austin

The video really doesn't need much of an introduction, because it speaks for itself. However, I will set it up by saying that Angie, Daniel, and Meredith went to the beach for a week. I joined them on Friday. Angie's niece, Kathryn, and her husband, Carey, were there too, along with their two kids, Tyler and Madison.

The first part of the video shows Meredith on Saturday morning. You'll see why we were a little late getting to the beach.

The second part shows us on Saturday night as we were trying to decide what to do as a group. Somehow, Meredith and Kathryn started debating which one of them was more flexible in planning a group activity. All of a sudden, Austin Powers shows up! Sadly, he didn't know they were talking about "flexibility" in planning.