Takes a Licking, Keeps On Ticking...NOT

I told you a couple of weeks ago that I was going to start posting some Wooden/Golden Spoon Awards. I truthfully have not been offended much lately...PTL...so, I haven't had any wooden spoons to hand out.

Well, that changed at the end of last week. During my run Friday, something went haywire on my Timex watch. It was keeping time okay, but the Indiglo light feature has been on the blink for a couple of months. But when I hit the one-mile mark during the run, I pressed the button that records the lap time and the watch's display went blank. I didn't think much about it at the time because I was out of breath and cold. I figured the batteries were getting low and the 30-degree temperatures weren't helping it.

When I got to the two-mile mark, I pressed the lap button again and the same thing happened. After about 10 seconds, though, the displayed showed back up. I kept running and finally made to the 2.7 finish line. I pressed the lap button to end my run and the watch completely went berserk. No display...no response...nothing! I told Angie, who was by my side, to keep track of the times because my watch had fritzed out.

Saturday I had some shopping to do at Wal Mart. I took the watch to the jewelry counter and asked the associate if she could replace the batteries. She affirmed that she could and asked me to give her a few minutes. After about thirty minutes, I went back to pick up the watch. The lady asked me, "Do you know how to set the time?"

"Yeah. Y'all don't know how to set the time on these Timex watches? Y'all sell a ton of them."

"We've all tried, but your watch is acting funny."

I took the watch from her and pressed on the "Set" button. Nothing. But then...all of a sudden...the watch started going through a loop...describing all of its functions. I tried again and again, but to no avail. Two of the associates had gathered near me now, looking at the watch. One of them said, "We've all tried. I think that watch is broken." There were four ladies working the jewelry counter. So, take all four of them and me, that's five people that can't make this goofy watch work. I asked them to take the new batteries out and I brought the watch back home. Funeral arrangements have not been made yet, but expect them early this week.

That brings me to this: The Wooden Spoon Award goes to my Timex watch that didn't last 1.5 years. When I was a kid, Timex had an advertising campaign boasting how durable their watches were. "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking" was the slogan. Uh...I think they forgot to program their new watches with the slogan.

The Golden Spoon goes to the ladies at the jewelry counter at Wal Mart. Rarely do I recieve this much help at Wally World. These ladies were pleasant and earnestly tried to do all they could to get my watch up and running.

Again, my Timex...RIP. If I have anything to do with it, it's going to rest in pieces.