The mistakes I will share with you were not born of malice or deceit though. They were created by my own incompetence in one form or another. My dad said it best, "If we never made mistakes, no one could afford us." I guess you could say that I am very affordable. So, here we go! Buckle up...the ride might get bumpy.
Abracadabra...Poof...Bathroom Reappear: I appraised a house in 2002. Approximately one year later, the owners refinanced with a different lender and I was hired to appraise it again. I took my file from the previous year because I didn't want to remeasure the house. Walking through, I noticed something was different. I looked at my old floor plan again and noticed that I forgot to give them credit for a bathroom. I literally forgot to draw it on the sketch. It was there the first time; but, somehow, I was distracted and didn't include it. Nice magic trick, Mark.
2002
2003
Nice Central Air System: I did another home twice within a couple of years. The first time I inspected the house, I diligently wrote everything down properly on my field notes, which is the data that I collect while I'm at a house. Back at the office, I typed the information into my computer. My software allows me to insert preset data into the function keys. Therefore, if I'm typing in the section that describes the exterior walls, I can hit the F3 button and "Brick Veneer" is automatically inserted into the form. F4 would insert "Wood Frame", F5 would insert "Vinyl Siding". You get the picture, right?
Well, on the section that describes the cooling system, I use only two "hot" keys. F3 is "Central H&A" and F4 is "Window Units". These buttons are right next to each other. In my haste, I hit the F3 button the first time I inspected the house. I didn't catch my mistake until two years later...during a re-inspection. The central air system was non-existent. Oopsie daisy. It was the same lender, so I called and told them that I found a mistake on my first appraisal but I corrected it. Fortunately, at that time, the market was still gradually increasing each year; and the homeowner didn't lose any value because of my previous oversight.
34? No, Let's Try 36: I go through tape measures at a rate of about one per year. I like to use fiberglass, open reel tape measures...100 foot...engineer ruled. Back about 10 years ago, I found a tape measure at Sears that met my criteria. Plus it was on sale...so I jumped all over it. I used it for about two weeks and then...it happened. No, the tape measure didn't break. I was actually performing a final inspection on a new house. Typically we appraise new construction based on plans and specifications...prior to the home being built. Then, after construction is complete, we will make an inspection to ensure that the house was built exactly as outlined in the plans. The homeowner was walking around the house with me. (Don't get me started on homeowners making every step with me...that's another blog.) Most guys that have had an active part in building their house can tell you the dimensions of the walls...even if you don't want to hear it. I still measure the walls, though. I can't tell you how many times a guy has told me that a wall was "x" feet long...only to discover that it was "y". And usually, it's a little awkward when you tell the guy, "Thanks, but I'm still gonna measure it." You might as well say, "I don't believe you." or "You're an idiot." or "You couldn't pour soup out of a boot with instructions on the heel."
Sorry, I digressed...
At any rate, I was re-inspecting this guy's house for the final. We walked around to the left side of the house and he said, "That's 36 feet long." I told him that I still needed to measure. I hung the tape on the corner of the house and walked down to the other end. I examined my tape measure and gleefully told him, "Nope, it's 34." (You see when the homeowner makes a mistake, it's really fun to correct them. However, in this situation, my glee was short-lived.)
Homeowner: "No, it's 36."
Me: "Well, come over here and read my tape, because it says 34."
Homeowner: "Your tape is wrong."
Me: "It's brand new...it couldn't be." (Wow! What a come-back, right?)
I walked back to about the 20-foot line and started counting...with the homeowner. "20...25...30...31...32...33...36?!...35?!...34?!" My new tape measure had the "34" and the "36" interchanged. Fear rushed into my head..."How many houses have I measured incorrectly? Arghhhh!!!" I could barely finish the final inspection because anxiety was eating me up. As soon as I arrived at my office, I tried to look at sketches from every house I had measured in the previous two weeks. I couldn't find any 34-foot or 36-foot walls on any of them. So, I was relieved. I packaged up the tape measure and drove to Sears. Once inside, I griped out the guy in the tool department. I realize it wasn't his fault, but I had to vent. He laughed and said that somebody obviously screwed up. Duh?!? He offered me a replacement, but I would have to hand over the old one. I decided against it. I figured I may need the bad one as evidence should I ever be sued by anyone with a 36-foot long wall.
I've made plenty of other mistakes over the years. But those three always stick in my mind as being humorous. Someday, I'll show you a copy of the saying that my dad printed using his quote about mistakes. It's about a paragraph long and instructs us to be tolerant of each other because we're all human and make mistakes. It was printed on parchment paper by a local office supply company; and it was suitable for framing. Funny thing is the document has a mistake. The printer's typesetter misspelled one of the words and nobody caught it until 1000 of them had been printed. Oops!
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