I'm going to use my new-found encouragement to write on my blog to expose you to my feelings, like it or not. If you're not interested in hearing my gripes, complaints, laughter, and honesty; then, by all means, please stop reading now. I'm not sure where this will wind up and I don't want you to feel like you've been forced to attend my private pity party. So the weak of heart should stop reading now. I really mean it...stop right now!
Are you still with me? Well, ok, let's see where this goes. You've been fairly warned that you're strapping in for a ride on my emotional roller coaster. Some days I wonder how many drops and turns this coaster has.
For two weeks, I had been anticipating the Strauss Awards show. "Sugar" ended on a positive note and I missed seeing my friends from the theater. So maybe I built this thing up in my mind to be some catharsis of all the fun I had this year playing three different parts on stage. I felt like all three characters that I created were distinctly different and were memorable. (Unfortunately, my favorite character, Pete, wasn't nominated for an award because the dinner theater wasn't a part of Strauss' regular season.) At any rate, I didn't expect to win every category, but I did hope to win at least one. Turns out, I was 0 for 3. In the first category, I was up against my three gangster buddies from "Sugar." Truth is I wanted them to win and they did. Tony, Paul, and Caleb stole the show and deserved the award....hands down! The next award I really wanted...with a passion. The character was Vinnie, who was a little slow but kind-hearted and sincere. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. The "Streetcar" steamroller had already started and all of the "Oscar & Felix" poker buddies were squashed in its wake. My last chance was for Spats. The character was memorable; but in my heart, I wanted my buddy Matt to win for Willard in "Footloose." He brought the house down every night with "Mama Says." Well, neither one of us one that category. Like I said, 0 for 3. Ouch, baby...very ouch. What's that smell? Toast!
Now I'm a grown man, or at least I pretend to be one. I had convinced myself early in the week that win or lose, I wouldn't care. Boy did I get that wrong! As the night went on, my head started hurting like somebody was hitting me with a hammer. What was bringing the constant THUD, THUD, THUD? Probably my ego taking a beating. I was right about one thing though...having one of those little trophies doesn't add another minute to my life. However, I have to admit...I was physically hurting from not being recognized for a job well-done. I wasn't prepared for that feeling. Here's the good news...it made me think back to last year's award show. I wasn't nominated for anything, but my youngest son, Daniel, was up for two awards. When he didn't win either one, I noticed his whole demeanor changed. He sunk into the car seat on the ride home and he didn't talk much the rest of the night. I shrugged it off. I kept thinking "Welcome to the NFL!" I didn't empathize with him at all. On last Friday night, God gave me a taste of that humble pie to help me remember Daniel's sorrow. Wow, did I learn a lesson or what? Praise God!!!
I didn't write an acceptance speech for the night. Good decision, huh? But I did have an idea of how I was going to thank a bunch of folks. Mostly I was going to talk about how I prayed before every performance. On the night of my very first play, I remember sitting silently in the wings and praying just before the curtain went up. It's important for you to know that I lost both my father and mother before I started doing plays. Neither one has ever been physically present in the crowd to watch any of my performances. It makes me tear up thinking about it now. Like most people, I want my parents to be proud of me. Doesn't everybody want their parents' approval? Since they weren't in the audience the first night, in my prayer, I asked Jesus to let them have the best seats in the house...right next to Him. So every night before the curtain would rise, I asked Jesus to watch my performance...and I asked Him to let my mom and dad sit next to Him. It comforted me and made me strive to do better each performance. I've continued this ritual every performance even until today.
To sum it up, I learned more from losing than I ever would have learned from winning. I know I will be very sympathetic to anybody who doesn't finish first. There were a whole lot of people who didn't win the other night...but they are still winners in my book. If I could have written the script for the awards, "Oscar & Felix" would have won best play, Matt would be gleefully showing off his Christopher, and I'd probably have one to boot. But thank God it didn't work out that way! And for the record, if you asked, I wouldn't trade the laughter I had backstage nor the the friendships I made for any award...100 times out of 100.
As I wrap this up, let me share this...since "Oscar & Felix" was completely shut out of the awards the other night, I've made a video to help us remember just exactly how much FUN it was! This is our award...the laughter and the friendships!
5 comments:
What's interesting about the Christopher's this year is that a "drama" was awarded recognition by our members. In all the years I have been attending the Christophers I can't remember a drama pulling more votes than a comedy.
To bad your character wasn't included in the same catergory with Tony, Paul and Caleb b/c you were a part of that group.
In my book of awards, everyone who gets onstage deserves recognition, we couldn't put on a show without them.
Thankyou Mark for writing such a deep and open post, that was meaningful and amazing. I like it when people are honest on their blogs, and don't always write happy happy everything is wonderful posts even when they don't mean it and are just afraid to write anything other than that. Being one that usually doesn't win the award or come in first, I'm glad you sympathize with those people now! lol It was really hard for me to see Tony not get one for the best last year. I mean sure I'm biased, but I still thought he deserved it the most. But you know how people love their crazy character actors. I just want you to know though, that Tom Hanks is my favorite actor. I love him so much because any movie he is in, he ISN'T Tom Hanks. He disappears and his character is there. There are so few actors who can do that!! (I hate Brad Pitt cause he is always "Brad Pitt") Well the first time I saw you in a role, after the show I said to Tony that you remind me of Tom Hanks because you have that ability. That's high praise coming from me because I have maybe a handful of actors I think that about! Ok this was really long but I loveya!
Yeah, I'm with ya buddy. Infact I might even blog about my feelings of the whole thing. But really, you are one of my favortite actors to watch, and I know I've told you a hundred times about the "Tom Hanks" quality you bring to the stage.
I'm proud of ya and so very happy that I've gotten to do so many shows with you. Here's hoping things change and I'll be able to step up on that stage with you in the futrue.
I love Mark.
well i didn't know he'd told you that 100 x's! i thought i was telling you something new! sigh.
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